A tongue-in-cheek look at Obama’s address

By Dr. Joe B. McGinnis

         NOTE:  This article in its entirety employs the literary device of IRONY.  If you    

do not understand IRONY, you will miss the point of this articlel

       IRONY is the use of words to convey the opposite of their literal meaning.

I was so pleased with President Obama’s State of the Union address last Tuesday night.  I had always unjustly felt like he said one thing, and did another;  that he practiced a sort of  double-speak, like most politicians.  I had developed a laughable belief that there was a spirit of confusion over Washington, D.C.  But now, I have seen the light.  This Obama speech was my Damascus Road to enlightment.  The scales have fallen from my eyes.  I now  understand why so many, who had eyes to see from the beginning, are enamored with this President.  Lord, please, forgive me for my utter blindness, and foolish ignorance.

After hearing his address to the nation last Tuesday night, I realized that President Obama is a straight-shooter, the real deal, a true patriot.  I was greatly comforted, and encouraged that genuine wisdom, and understanding has descended upon our nation’s capitol, and that we have absolutely nothing to worry about. The recession is over.  The spirit of capitalism, self-government, and the American way is safe in his hands.  The Constitution is faithfully guarded, and upheld, never again to be twisted in the hands of unscrupulous men who would skew its intent. What a great guy. He is a man after my own heart, and a true savior.

My confidence has been renewed in our nation’s leadership.  I now, clearly see the logic of where we are headed.  Obviously, as I noticed the numerous standing ovations to President Obama’s insights, vision,  declarations, and challenges, there are many who agree with me that that the future has never looked brighter for America than any time in our history.

Read on to see if you heard the same speech that I heard from our President.  It’s clarity!. . .It’s style!. . .It’s substance!  What a great leader!  And so handsome!  So cool,  charismatic, and eloquent! What a rock star!   Four more years!!!!

-We need smaller government that is also bigger.

-We need more teachers, but we will make some of our biggest spending cuts in education, and release

  thousands of teachers from their positions.

-We need to keep foreign college grads in America, rather than send them back home to compete

  against us. They need to stay here to compete with our own college grads for jobs that do not exist.

-We are going to bring our 100,000 troops home from Iraq, so that we can send them to Afganistan.

-We need to do everything possible to defend our country, but we will cut 400 billion dollars from our

  military budget, and continue to shut down military bases by the score.

-We need to boost the morale, and strengthen the moral fiber of our military troops, and we will do this

  by salt & peppering our armed forces with homosexuals.

-We need to protect the American citizens from terrorist attack, but we will forbid racial profiling, which

  would quickly increase the probability of locating the terrorist. We will continue with a system that

  merely gives the illusion of protection by harassing American citizens at airport gates, and color-coding

  to let our enemies know when we are not on alert.

-We need more roads, and infrastructure,  but we have no clue how to pay for it.

-We need more entrepeneurs to provide jobs, and create solutions, but we will make it as hard as we can

  for them to succeed by taxation, strangling regulation, and excessive bureaucratic red tape.

-We need to stop out-sourcing jobs and manufacturing, but will refuse to impose tariffs on imports, and

  deny business and commerce any bottom-line incentives to base their services in America.

-We need to save Social Security from insolvency, but we will provide full benefits to illegal alien

  residents who neither report income, or pay taxes.

 -We need friends, and allies globally, and we will achieve this by breaking our own financial backs,

  continuing to give 100’s of billions of dollars to these countries in an attempt to buy their friendship.

-We need to reverse the world’s view of America as a spoiled and frivolous nation,sot our President will

  continue to appear as the court jester on T.V. shows such as, The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, David

  Letterman, Conan O’Brien, The View, Oprah, and Saturday Night Live.

-We need to curb financial fraud, and corruption, but with stimulus bailouts,  we will reward the very

  culprits who wreaked the financial havoc upon us.

-We need to provide the greatest health care in the world, so we will continue to entertain, and

  implement ideas of how to destroy what already is, and has been the finest health care system in all of

  history.

-We need to spend, and borrow our way out of debt.

-We need for God to bless America, but we will ban the very mention of His name in every nook, and

  cranny in the land, while lauding the name of every other false god.

This address by President Obama will go down in history as wisdom for the ages. . .a model for all leaders in the future.  It all makes sense to me now.  It takes a village to get all these marvelous things done.  We must follow the clear path the President has laid out for us.  We can do this.  I went to bed Tuesday night feeling safe in the hands of Obama, and a little tear of thanksgiving rolled down my cheek.  Just as I know millions of other discerning Americans did, I fell asleep to the rhythmic chant within me saying, “Yes, we can!  Yes, we can!  Yes, we can!    (Isn’t IRONY great?!)